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July/ August 1999 - Volume 2 - Issue 6

What I Didn't Know Before I Had Kids ....

  • How many seconds it takes to microwave 4 fish sticks perfectly.
  • How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child.
  • And all of the above simultaneously.
  • Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I ran the Circus can be skipped over without the child noticing.
  • How bright a 3:00 a.m. full moon is.
  • That solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special outfits.
  • How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.
  • How to spell amoxicillian, let alone say it.
  • That reverse psychology really works.
  • The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot.
  • How far you can dilute juice and still retain it's taste.
  • That the more my kids learn the less I seem to know.



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